You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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