I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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