i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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