I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize