fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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