The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize