I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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