So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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