I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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