i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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