Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize