Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize