My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize