I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I need help removing her.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize