1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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