I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize