Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
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she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
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I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize