last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize