Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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