sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize