Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize