Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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