So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize