Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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