Sry I called you an 8
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize