you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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