don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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