and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Someone signed my nipple.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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