woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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