Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize