Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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