Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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