I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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