I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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