Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize