Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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