Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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