hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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