just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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