he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize