woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize