I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your penis caused this!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize