The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize