That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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