May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize