I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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