I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize