i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize