I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I love you. Go after that dick
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize