You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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